Who Am I Without My Abilities?

 I figured it was time for me to give you guys an update. I still have yet to find a job, but I'm trying hard to stay optimistic. It's been a challenge. I've discovered that despite everything that's been happening I know that everything will be okay in the end. It's very hard to accept. It has always been very hard for me to accept. Right now I have a part-time job babysitting my chiropractor's two-year-old child. It's been nice, but the whole reason I went to see a chiropractor is because I was holding a two-year-old child for too long and I wrecked my back and my drawing arm. I think the most difficult part of this is the fact that I have to restrain myself from drawing anything at all to make sure that my arm heals. I hate it. I hate it because it's such a huge part of who I am. I mean, who am I without my left arm?

It's hard for me to see who I am without my talent. I know I have other talents but so much of my talent is relied upon my dominant hand. I had many plans this upcoming year. I was feeling very depressed last couple of months because of all of the change and my lack of job finding but then I kind of had a wake-up call and felt inspired and rejuvenated and I had mapped out a plan on an actual calendar. I was really excited to finally get started on all of these projects that I've just had in my head finally to put them on paper, digitally illustrate, to actually make some graphic design. And then my arm started bothering me and I couldn't understand why, I didn't really think anything of it until I was drawing extensively one night and the next day my arm was total crap. It was already bothering me before, because I was carrying a baby and I thought that I had just pulled a muscle or something and it would be fine and the next few days. But it was not. Later my back started to bother me and I thought oh no, it's another pinched nerve. I haven't had a pinched nerve since high school but it's extremely debilitating. I can't do anything without my back, without my arm... I can't even apply for another framing job because I wouldn't be able to do anything except sales and design. 

My arm is getting better, so is my back... However, it's a slow process.  Pray for me. I know I need it.